In with the new

I've always been skirting the idea of changing my look to something I was more comfortable with. Somehow I never got to exactly where I wanted to go. The feelings returned and this time I decided to go for it, and change my wardrobe up some. With my girlfriends help (shopping is her forte), I sought out the styles that suited me and on my trip to New York last weekend I did some shopping and got some pieces for my wardrobe.

Today was my first day back to work since last week and I found myself a little nervous about getting dressed for work. I wondered what my supervisor or co-workers might think when I stepped in. It somehow felt like I was back home in Jamaica where homophobia is very present, though it never affected me before. Still, I wasn't as 'outwardly' gay as 'butch' women appeared. I wasn't trying to appear more gay, I just wanted to be more me.

It was an odd feeling I had this morning, as I'm not used to feelings of uncertainty. However, I couldn't allow myself to not make that step so I donned my garb and went out into the sunshine. At the end of the day, I felt great and not because my supervisor thought I looked sharp, but because I felt like I made another big step in living my life for me.

Thanks also baby for always supporting me with everything.